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HEART OUT

Perplexed between my intuition and emotion.

I am not here in present,

but no matter what we can not escape from present.

I have turned myself into a miserable human being,

who’s not only unable to love but to be loved as well.

the feeling of being loved by everyone I meet,

is choking my neck,

this feeling is not letting me breath.

I know you won’t believe it,

I know I am sounding like a stupid kid,

who just makes issue out of nothing.

but my head is flowing with expectations of people who love me.

I want to put this mask off which I am wearing,

this is not me,

this can not be me.

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DATING

I wrote this one year ago and I exactly can’t remember my mood that day. so here I go-

I wonder how my dating ideas have been changing since I was thirteen,

How this journey evolved from being lil silly teen to mean.

From “it is the end of life” to ” a big life ahead ”

From “I can’t live without you” to “I can be better boo”

Baby just hold my purse and what I want, just lemme do..

“He loves me cause he gets jealous” to “such a toxic bugaboo”

“Me and you

You and me”

Isn’t my type anymore.

Wait sometime ,

You are you ,

And me is me

so baby let’s grow more.

Don’t stick on me so early,

Cause I get bore.

So baby, Let’s catch vibes

And talks? Just ignore.

Don’t run after me,

Be my mentor

And help me to explore.

I wonder how my dating ideas have been changing since I was thirteen,

From Being lil silly teen to Mean.

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CLUELESS

Hazy nights just like what I perceive about my life.

I am clueless not even trying to get hints.

There is something more to discover about life,

 I don’t know whom to listen.

Should I listen to my mind or just keep things up with my heart?

Is it just me who feels this way?

 I am obstructed in my head.

And my heart takes me to destruction, always.

Neither I want to share things related to me nor do I want any advice.

Because I have them, in my head and my head isn’t working.

-DEEPTI

21 OCT, 2021

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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THROUGH IT?

I don’t know why I’m scared of loving you?

Why am I expecting more love in return from you?

One side I wanna fall for you,

And the other I don’t wanna involve myself in you.

I’m comparing things I have already been through.

and expecting something else from you.

Are you the one or you are just one like others?

Will you give me your soul Completely or you will take my already taken soul from me?

Will you give me what I want Or you”ll snatch from me what I already have.

Are you my well wisher or I’m an overthinker.

©

Deeps

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MY IDEA OF LOVE

“Love is test and it isn’t easy,
We Labor in love to rest,
we have to fight in love to be together,
Love is alien,
Marrying someone is the Destination goal of loving someone,
we should be weak to become strong in love”
that’s what I used to think before you entered.
You made me realize that
“Loving isn’t exam rather life is. Loving is tough when it’s fake”
“Loving is more than I Love Yous”
“Loving is when we have fights and we are happy about them, when our mental health is fine”.
“Love isn’t alien, it is colorful.

It can happen with anything, anyone and anytime.
“Loving helps you discover yourself”
.
People came, sit and went away but
TRUST ME, YOU ARE MY HAPPY PHASE.
I include you in my “Self love”🥀


DEEPS 🙂

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VITALITY

Head is caged or I am.

My mind is running but I am still,

Heart is fighting but my hands are numb.

My little big expectations are on the way,  In search of their direction

What colors am I supposed to enjoy of life?

I am strolling in the road of what I aspire to be,

Not knowing where is I going to be.

Let me just figure out,

But how much time it is supposed to take.

Hunger to do something being in a stuck position.

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“OUR BODY IS OUR HOME”

PHOTO COURTESY Pexels.com

HEY,

THIS IS NOT FOR ALL MEN AND NOT ALL MEN ARE SAME.I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT A LOT OF MEN ARE REALLY GOOD.I WROTE THIS BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE NORMALIZING “MARITAL RAPE” AND A HUGE PART OF OUR SOCIETY DO NOT EVEN COUNT IT AS RAPE.

WE’RE TAUGHT FROM CHILDHOOD

“OUR BODY IS OUR HOME”

THEN HOW COULD HE TREAT ME LIKE I AM HIS FOOD.

REMEMBER ,”YOUR BODY IS ONLY YOURS THAT NOBODY CAN JUST NEFARIOUSLY OWN”.

SEX IS CRINGY,

DRAGGING INTO CONVERSATION AMONG FAMILY,RELATIVES AND SOMETIME FRIENDS IS STILL EMBARRASSING.

BUT WHEN I GET RAPED,

WILL NOT YOU CALL MY BODY MY HOME?WILL NOT YOU SAY THAT HOW COULD HE ENTER MY SOUL?

PLEASE TELL ME “WHAT WAS MY FAULT”?

MOST OF US ARE TAUGHT DO NOT EVEN THINK TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE BEFORE MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOU KNOW “OUR BODY IS OUR HOME”

BY ANY CHANCE I DO,

THEN IS NOT HIS BODY IS HIS HOME?

I AM RAPED.REPEAT AFTER ME “I AM RAPED”.

THEY ASKED “WHO DID THIS”?

“THE BOY YOU ARRANGED ME FOR,MY HUSBAND, I REPLIED IN PAIN.

NO,THERE IS NO SUCH THING.YOU ARE HIS WIFE.YOU ARE MADE FOR HIM ,HE IS MADE FOR YOU.IT IS A PERSONAL MATTER.OMG THEY SAID THIS AND LEFT ME ALONE.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT WHO WILL BREAK THIS CHAIN.

IF NOT ME THEN WHO?

IF NOT YOU THEN WHO?

IF NOT US THEN WHO?

MY FAULT WAS I MARRIED TO A GUY YOU ARRANGED ME FOR.

MY FAULT WAS I MARRIED BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE I LOVED?

MY FAULT WAS I DID NOT MARRY TO THAT BOY SOCIETY WANTED ME TO?

MY FAULT WAS I MARRIED TO THE BOY I MET IN COLLEGE AND FOUGHT WITH FAMILY TO BE WITH HIM?

LOVE MARRIAGE WAS MY FAULT? ARRANGE MARRIAGE WAS MY FAULT?

JUST TO GET RAPED?

THANKYOU.

BY MARIGOLDWRITES.

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